Category Archives: Ritual

Journey Along the Hidden Path

As I hit my month long introspective journey, I’m struck by the footprints I’ve laid down before and what impact I will leave as I walk currently. The details elude me, leaving only the sensation of their vague echoes.

This season marks two transformation cycles, both in nature with Autumn descending upon my home and from within as I enter the month long sojourn that is Opet. As the leaves change their colors and fall, the pieces within me either breakaway, fall in to place, or create something new. Each time I have celebrated Opet there has been the creation or destruction of the defining factors which I am able to weave my path.

However, this year brings unknown factors and results I am not able to predict nor have a guide for.The main reason why the expectations are different are due to the new focuses I have decided to work on to develop myself.

I snicker a little bit at this detail. My Opet is the celebration and a rigorous work period with the Theban triad. The members function within the unseen places and along secretive paths. Their focus is on the work within silence and the hidden. Mut has always been a caring and guiding force in my life when I have encountered/worked with Her. Amon-Re and Khons have been part of my personal retinue for some time, however that bond was deepened this year with the oaths I took on Wep Ronpet . The two of them have a tendency to make everything interesting.

I have no doubts the work I do this Opet will leave a long-standing mark upon me.

Onwards to the hidden path!

 

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Wep Ronpet and Resolutions

Wep Ronpet occurred in my location on 8/13. Before that time would have been the Closing of the Year and the five Days Upon the Year.

My Closing of the year went very well and I was excited at the fact the things to be destroyed were different from the year before (based on the notes I found). It was a moment of self-pride and I-did-something-right. I successfully execrated/freed myself from the things to be left behind of this last year.

The Days Upon the Year were a different story. I was not able to perform due to my mindset/emotional state and I stepped away (after receiving permission) from doing anything for the Five on those days.

Wep Ronpet is something I’m still working on. On 8/13 I observed but did not work on the tasks. On 8/16 I participated in a group ritual with the Facebook group I am a part of (Twin Cities Kemetic Network). Today on 8/19, I do the task of mapping a basic idea of the current goals of my year.

Wep Ronpet is about new beginnings, new projects, and new goals. I will be starting a new job in my career on 8/25. With this job, I hope to clean my finances up and better manage that area of my life. I have two new connections where I will be shortly taking oaths and working on new projects helped by Their design. I will be making more of an effort to work on my beadweaving technique and projects.

Other goals are to bring me back to what I have done before and lost due to the storm of my life.

  • I am going to make sure my altar and statues are tended to twice a day.
  • I will be blogging at least once a week.
  • I will make an effort to get a working calendar in order and follow it.

I know I’m not perfect and probably never will be, but I will make the effort to uphold the oaths I have taken and the work I have accepted.  I will continue to walk with honor and dignity in step with the Netjeru and my selves. This new year will bring new beginnings and new outlooks of which will allow myself to both express my devotion and hopefully impart useful commentary to everyone who takes a chance to read my posts.

Happy New Year, everyone!

 

The Path onto the New Decade

The first thing I would like to say is best laid plan’s in my world become none of the plans right away. I planned to have a nice post in March after Paganicon and now it’s the middle of June.

So much of my world has been upended, I’m still trying to bend to storm to me rather than my current beings experiencing the chaotic tossing by its design. I figure a short list will give the idea.

I have not been in the dating scene for six years and I decided to take a chance and try to date someone who was interested. After about two maybe three months, he called it quits. I wasn’t dependent enough on him and too independently minded. Considering the signs pointing towards a toxic relationship I saw after the fact, I was in shock for fifteen seconds and heartbroken not even one. I gained experience I didn’t have before and lessons learned in a way that was best case scenario and not world-shattering.

Paganicon was once again an invigorating experience allowing me to once again discover the pieces to organize what I want to do and where I want to go (details will be below).

I lost my job April 1st and have been on the hunt for a few months now. It’s been an adventure forcing me out of my comfort zone and to take chances I never even thought of taking before. It also became a telling sign of how much my job leached out of my life and how much of me was fractured.

Ongoing issues with my heart energies and my third eye caused me enough duress and pain to finally seek out help. This has both helped me get better physically, energetically, but also to get over the I-have-to-do-all-of-the-things-myself. I haven’t asked many times throughout my life for help beyond book-help and opinions from other practitioners when it comes to my spiritual sphere. It’s been a hurdle the Netjeru have been trying to push me through. This event has been followed up with  a decision to join two of my friends in a practicing circle of sorts where we help each other, have a few group rituals/practice sessions together, and hold each other accountable to work on our individual goals.

I’m sure by now, you can imagine at least a basic picture of Whirlwind of Stuff.

Now, here we are in June, but first let’s go back to March, specifically for the outcome of Paganicon.

Baby steps, baby steps, oh wait, I’ve been doing baby steps for quite some time and didn’t even know it. When Veggiewolf was both preparing and presenting the talk, I learned I had overcome a hurdle I thought I was still battling. One of the main ideas with Baby Steps was paring down religion from being this separate life not intermingled with the “mundane” to a life-workable form. This ties in to my own practice with how I operate on a ritual level. I do the daily ritual cycle intertwined with my “mundane” life. I put mundane in quotations because it’s a concept I can use with others, but it is one I stopped using for myself. My life is all-encompassing and all woven together. One aspect isn’t more important or separate from the others. Which brings me to another a-ha point happening at Paganicon.

I work with open statues. To those who don’t know what an open statue is,  the nutshell description is such: It is a statue utilized as a home for a deity. An open statue is different from other statues in the sense it needs to be taken care of as a person is. Food, clothes, water, bathing are some of the basic needs. It is a TON of work, and  I mean a TON. I never put much thought in to how unique it is to have open statues. I thought all Kemetics had them and it was just the way it was. I was incorrect in that belief and surprised at how my own hopes and dreams for long-term temple work were unique. I was elated when others were excited as to how my system worked, especially when the ur-doing-it-rong was never a part of the dialogue.

I’ve spent years hearing what I was doing was wrong and until recently, I just stopped talking about it. I stopped looking for community because community was there in name, but not in practice. I don’t fit the mold of the community I seemed to find when I was looking. I don’t operate in covens or lodges (the dynamics of some of  the vocal groups around here scare me). I don’t have just a God and a Goddess (I can count  a minimum of 32 in a mixed family setting with three of them as my spouses, two as my other halves and four as my current stalkers). I am a purist in the sense of it’s only one pantheon for me. Others may have a blending and I love to hear how people weave together different systems, but when it’s just “I was told all of the many are the same and I don’t know why I’m mixing the way I am,  but someone said it was the way it goes” perturbs me a bit. It’s like walking up to person A asking their name and a brief summary, taking that summary and saying. “oh, you must love to hang out with person B, because the two of you like water”. Rants aside AKA the TL:DR version: it created a complex when all I was finding antagonistic attitudes aimed at me.

I was preparing myself to have to defend myself when I didn’t need to. Which has brought me again to another defining factor, or at least a community defining factor: label. I have spent time trying to define myself to the community in a way not confusing and allows me to not have to have a thirty minute conversation to get basic details. After deliberation and mulling about what to say now, I have come to the conclusion my current label will be “Adaptive Kemetic Reconstructionist”. I am building from studying to make a system comparable to previous practices, but I’m also tweaking for my own use. I find this label is the best of both worlds, the then and the now.

Now we can enter June. As I enter June, I am reminded, ten years. Ten years have now gone by since I took my first oaths to Aset and Nebthet. Ten years since I made the initiative to go this path. I’m looking forward excitedly to where They will take me and where I will take myself. So, onto the new decade.

 

Opet Musing

My hands reach for the surface drifting away.
I sink from the light of Ra towards the silent depths.
The deafening silence roars as He drags me deeper within.
The silence leads to the hidden.

I sink from the light of Ra towards the silent depths.
The Shining King’s beams will soon no longer hold me in His safe embrace.
The silence leads to the hidden.
The Hidden One will soon entangle me in His embrace.

The Shining King’s beams will soon no longer hold me in His safe embrace.
The warm light will give way to the truthful silence.
The Hidden One will soon entangle me in His embrace.
His whispers will carry me away.

The warm light will give way to the truthful silence.
The deafening silence roars as He drags me deeper within.
His whispers will carry me away.
My hands reach for the surface drifting away.

“R” is for Rejuvenation

So here I am after Wg (W4g, W4gy, Wag, or Wagy are also names for the festival). The surprising thing is that I only “celebrated” the Eve and not Wg Proper. I achieved the work I was going to do on the Eve and I was denied the work for Wg itself.

My life is so in motion that it doesn’t feel like it’s moving and I’m missing stops along the way. I’m going to work to slow crap down, because if I don’t, a burnout is bound to happen. One of the criticisms I receive constantly from the Netjeru is I do too much on my own and my expectations are too high to beat myself up over. I have too much I want/feel I need to do and not enough “me” resources.

So approaching this much-needed weekend, I’m going to create a rejuvenation ritual to use when I start hitting the breakdown. When I hit the breakdown, I shut down and turn off (which is typically enacted with horrible migraines, lack of energy, and depression). At the stage of shutdown nothing I want to get done gets accomplished, and I start the vicious cycle again.

I keep telling myself I need a better system. The dramatic up and downs are not good for me and will probably eventually bite me in the ass. There is a difference between saying and doing. I’m hoping by making mandatory time, I can tweak and re-route my current system.

“R” is for Rejuvenation, because I need to take that time and recharge to prepare for everything else.

“P” is for Preparing for the Year: Closing the Year, Days Upon the Year, and Wep Ronpet

Whew, this has been a long week, both strengthening and weakening me. Scattered throughout this post are snapshots of the devotional pieces I worked on for the five born upon the year. I may make posts explaining the process and how each one works for Their representations.

The last year has been closed tightly and lessons were learned in the time passed and new lessons were learned from the experience. I haven’t done that much me work in, oh, let’s say ever. The parties involved drove the point home of work on this every so often. It was exhilarating and terrifying mixed in to one. Closure is nice and I had a moment of validation of I’m-doing-this-right.

Heru-Wr

One of the closing rituals was a cutting and mending. The main goal was to cut the ties to someone I don’t want anything to do with anymore. A couple of days after I did the ritual, I got a message from him. I at first felt angry, because I just took the time to cut away that thread. A couple of my friends commented that it meant I did it right, because he felt that absence. There is something very fulfilling to knowing validation has occurred.Set

The first two Days Upon the Year went smoothly. I know Heru-Wr and Set were content with the results of the meditations, prayers, and devotional jewelry pieces. The next three days were a different story. I received a migraine of which I haven’t had in a while. I was laid up Saturday, Sunday, I was starting to feel better Monday, and I’m almost done here on Tuesday. I didn’t do the same work for Asar, Aset, and Nebt-Het. The puzzling thing is, I don’t feel like a failure for not doing the same work I did for Heru-Wr and Set.Asar

I have theories as to why this occurred, but I’m not going to think about pinpointing it until after the excitement settles. I think the main reason has to do with overextending myself and the energy it takes to work on each “project”. Since I’m still new at doing magic and ritual on a deep level, I may have pushed too hard, and They wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to break myself.  I was able to get all of the devotional pieces done in time for Wep Ronpet.

AsetI have decided to use tonight to make my resolutions for the year, and what I would like to focus on. They appreciate when I share/report what I’m doing and thinking. I was originally going to do resolutions and renewing/reviewing my oath with He who is my Beloved. I feel I do Him injustice by trying to cram incredibly important work together in one day (especially since my days are taken mostly by work). I am happy with the start of this new year and I look forward to what may come. “P” is for Preparing for the Year, because now is the best time to prepare as ever.Nebt-Het

On the Eve of the Closing of the Year

Whew, I told myself I wasn’t going to have last minute preparation and here I am, preparing in a fury for tomorrow and the days after.

Tomorrow is the last day of the year and I am going to close it tight.

I am in the process of planning/writing/creating exactly what I want to do. One of the main decisions made was to do an execration, monster-work, and a cutting tomorrow to really knock the last year about.

I’m scared, scratch that, I’m terrified. I have been excelling in practice, but not in self. I don’t even know what I’m going to find in there, but it NEEDS to happen. They have made it clear and I agree whole-heartedly. If I wasn’t terrified, I wouldn’t be aware of the situation, nor understand how important it really is. That feeling will not stop nor deter me. I won’t let it.

So, here I am, making the appropriate preparations because if I don’t, seriously bad crap will happen, and that’s not the way to end the year. The other side is if I don’t do it, there is no new year, and I will be just the same as the last. I can only move forward.

“O” is for Overcomplicated Calenders and Onto the New Year

It’s that time of year again. It’s almost to the new year (Wep Ronpet) and a very important festival season for me personally. I am proud of myself for calculating when the year starts so I can plot out all of the other feasts and festivals I want to do. Yes, it’s a matter of what I want to do, not need to do, because the Egyptian empire had a very complicated system of calenders. The only uncomplicated aspect was that they had 360 days with five added for the births of Heru-Wr, Asar, Set, Aset, and Nebt-Ht. Which is the same amount of days I’m used to having being from a westernized society.

The complicated part was the ancient Egyptians utilized a solar calender, a lunar calender, a civil calender, plus different regions sometimes followed different Netjeru families/cosmologies creating different sets and levels of importance of festivals. If I was regionally based, it would be a little easier, but I’m not, and I don’t want to be limited in how I work/They have voiced They don’t want me to be limited in such a manner. The lack of limitation leaves me to sitting with books/other people’s input and here at a computer entering data for personalized lists of schedules. I also tweak the calender to match my region and its characteristics, rather than basing it on the Egyptian region.

Since I live in Minnesota, it could be said we have less than four seasons. In one system we have two seasons: snow and road construction. A second system has three seasons: Spring/Summer, Fall and Winter. Our springs and summers tend to blend together and flip between the two at odd times. I like to joke about being able to coordinate the two season systems, for the sake of my practice, it really doesn’t matter. I can make everything work when it needs to, because that’s how I do it. If it doesn’t work for me, it doesn’t happen a second time.

I count myself lucky to have had some time to plot out the new calender at least for Wep Ronpet, Wgy, and Opet. This gives me a little bit of a breathing zone to plan those three festivals before I have to worry about after those three events. Now, the fun begins with planning the rituals. I haven’t done very well with rituals I have found from books so I write up my own rituals for myself. I respect the people who record their methods, but it’s just not for me. Planning rituals is a calender in of itself. If rituals don’t function like calenders, they are least syllabuses, which are micro calenders, so they are calenders (anyways). With how sporadic and fluid my practice has been, I have found myself writing up rituals for the same festivals over and over again, trying to find what feels right to me.

The process starts with brainstorming what the focus/goal is for that festival and what do I want to get out of it. From the brainstorming I pick activities that are relevant to the goals. The activities can be anything from beading, meditation, prayer, reading passages from translated works, tributes, poetry, story-telling, conversation, etc. After I make the final decision on scheduling, any of the parts that need the creative touch are prepared and compliled. I found the more time I have to think about what I’m doing, the better I feel and the better the result I get in regards to the goals for each festival.

Wep Ronpet is probably the most complicated and work-heavy out of three major events. The festival does cover seven days and each day has a specific focus. I will be taking as much free time as I can to prepare between now and the 7th when it all begins. I will be having fun updates for anyone who decides to read my ramble-mode, because it will be ramble-mode. “O” is for overcomplicated calenders and onto the new year because it is overcomplicated with attempting to build the blocks without having them topple over, and overcomplicated calenders are discovered as I head to Wep Ronpet.

“F” is for Fishing is in my life

Ha, ha! Guess who is behind? I figure it’s nothing new. I get stints where the brain won’t think, other times where it’s over-thinking, and times where it’s just melting. Even worse than that is not knowing which point I’m at (enter now). From what I have been able to gather, it’s the theme of fishes and fishing that’s causing gesticulation on a grand scale.

In my day-to-day life, I’ve been fishing for “the rare catch”(which includes bait as a resume and cover letter), and sorting through the other fishes I already have to find what I want/can do to do day-to-day to make life better, so I’m not depressed. I know one of the baskets of fish I want to work with is getting is filled with the crafting, the art, and the film. I was recently talking to my dad and he was encouraging me to make more jewelry and actually sell it (because yeah, I have separation anxiety in regards to shinies, and paranoia that it’s going to not sell/it’s going to break apart).

My Dad has been very supportive and has promised me a corner in his workshop when it’s finished. I would have a place where I could get in to the “right mindset” and make colorful, beaded fishing wires to lure people in (fishing with shinies, all of the shinies to find PEOPLE). At the point I would have enough of an inventory and organization to make something happen, it will cause more tendency towards stability.

Now here we go onto the mind-melt/head-meets-desk portion of fishing. A couple of years ago I acquired the Faulkner version of the “Coffin Texts” and for many different reasons was not able to begin to look through them. I’ve always been much more familiar with the “Book of Pert-em-Hru” (“Book of Coming forth by Day” = “Book of the Dead” – I don’t like the second title because it limits the understanding and use of the subject matter), so I was not prepared for the subject matters mind-blowing content. I was finally able to dive in a few months ago and the melting/excitement began. It was something of an information overload due to all of the THINGS I could work with and use in practice.

There were some specific entries that captured my attention, but I wouldn’t find a real focus until I was reading a different book and saw a picture that still baffles and entices me. The picture was a line of three priests and they were armed with what was interpreted as fishing nets. They were using fishing nets to work magic. The image and idea burned in to my mind and has been driving me a tad nutty since it happened. I latched on to the idea of making a net and wanting to create a ritual based on the net.

I went back to the “Coffin Texts” and went through different spells that included fish and fishing (because CONTEXT is important), and am looking at sources that speak about daily life (cause yeah, people FISHED).  It will take me a while to build the ritual, build the net, and inspect the results. Even if what I’m going to end up doing is unsuccessful, at least I can say I made the effort to follow the obsessive impulses that happen in my wobbly head. When I’m further along, I will have status updates.

But yes, “F” is for fishing and it’s in my life.

What to do first….

The one thing I hate about having an imagination is the masses of ideas upon ideas that I have trouble both in realizing in real space and making coherent. It all makes sense in my head, not so much when it leaks out the assorted crevices of my cranium.

Anywho, I suppose the first battle is what to do first. I think I’m going to work on my calender and preparations for Opet (since it’s practically a month celebration, plus the themes and the Netjeru involved are very important to me). This will also help me organize myself as the system I used for Wag last month went incredibly well and felt right. I’ve been wading through different ways of rituals and I’ve only begun to get a good grasp of what works for me.

I’ve been weighing for a while as to how I want to structure myself. I don’t like the adaption of the Netjeru to other systems. It’s not me. Others can be that way if they want, but not me. I’m not a hard-reconstructionist either. I believe there are reasons why our cultures changed and since the Netjeru allowed and embraced that change we can also. I find myself just saying “I’m Kemetic” and I think after all nine years I have in floundering along with religiously following, I think I can call myself comfortable enough to start building towards a constant path. I walk the line of at least keeping truth to the Netjeru and not the lies some spread, but not being obsessed with being exact.

Along with the plotting of the specifics of everything, I am going to challenge myself to have at least one post each day. This will help me get in to a habit of posting, allow me to practice making coherence of my thoughts, and get what I know out to the community.

Now that I’ve gone off topic as always, until next time.