“Q” is for Quiescence and the Choice for the Dualistic Existence of Silence

I don’t remember what silence in my head is or was.

I really don’t remember what that actually is.

I can’t remember a time where there wasn’t the chatter, or the low murmuring. Either I’m talking, my projects are talking, my souls are talking, or They are talking. Every moment of my day is cramped with me, me-to-the-fifth-degree, projects, Them, and the little white noise stuck in my ears from loud music. I don’t/won’t despise it. I made that choice after all.

With the high festival season in full swing, it seems the voices have multiplied both in internal volume and in number (typically my Beloved, my Brother, and my Father are the constant). The Work I am doing and going to be doing is calling a month before it’s supposed to commence. It is waiting for no one, not Them, not even me. As other points in my life and path are falling in to place, They are starting to carve out the appropriate internal spaces for themselves. I have given Them my permission in this case, but didn’t expect it to happen quite so fast. Since it hasn’t hampered me in the here and now, nor have they stomped on me, I see no reason to change the pace as of yet.

The quiet times I’ve been allowed throughout the years always seems to be a punishment or a forced vacation. The first time it happened led to painful lessons, wounds, and spiritual scars. The general consenus was that it was just a tad beyond what They and I thought would happen. It was decided never to go that route again. The periods of quiescence are for slowing me down. This is how I live currently.

I made that choice and I’m damn proud of it. I’m happy to belong and to be something greater than what I was before all of THIS. They made the choice to save me, invest in me, and I in turn made the choice to pay Them back and to make my place among Them.

As I prepare for the work ahead, I’m anxious and scared. The anticipation however is not as scary as the alternative of being alone. I’ve adapted to the chatter (as I call it), and it is a part of me. I’m not a godphone, nor a god-operator line. I am a physical connection to balance the un-physical connection. I make the unseen be the seen, exposing the hidden and hiding away its blueprints. This newly-waiting-to-be-charged aspect of my Work creates a new place in my practice for quiescence.

To make the connections, the noise is silenced as the work happens. It is in the silencing of the noise the work achieves its goal. The noise, however, never leaves the forefront. It is always there and it is always heard. The work is undertaken as a dance in an ocean, with the impacts not seen beyond the blurred appearance of the work. The tests I face now are silence and secrecy. How to keep silent when surrounded by noise, and how to not run my mouth to the ends of existence.

“Q” is for Quiescence and the choice for dualistic silence, because I don’t do much of anything with quiescence and I will soon not be able to work without it.

Advertisements

About Neteruhemta

I am a follower of the Netjeru (Ancient Egyptian Pantheon), a crafter, and a gamer. This blog illustrates and explains my religious experiences attempting to reconcile the ancient information scattered with the modern reality we all presently exist in.

Posted on August 28, 2013, in Kemetic, Pagan, Pagan Blog Project and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: